I was going to blog today about my journey back to Chelmsford from Split but I thought I’d do something a little bit different from that. I have penned an open letter to Croatia.
“The darker the night, the brighter the stars.”Fjodor Dostoyevsky
I just want to thank you for being a part of this world, thank you for your hospitality, thank you for your culture, thank you for letting me experience white truffle and leek oil my two new favourite tastes, thank you for helping me get back on my feet and thank you most of all for making me fall in love with travel again. You are amazing you truly are. Don’t ever change not for Game of Thrones and not for anyone. You excel at being you. It’s what you do best. Before this trip, I was numb to life and the world around me. I wasn’t ok and that’s ok. I think some days it was better than others. It had been a hard few months losing Fiona, then the inevitable breakdown of the relationship and eleven-hour days sat staring at three screens filled with Bloomberg, Excel and other such delights. I needed a tonic but what’s a tonic when there’s no gin? That’s how I felt. I was going through the motions. Questioning what I’m doing and where I am heading. Every day is much the same as the one before but thank you to my parents for trying to keep my spirits up. It wasn’t easy. I was cantankerous, I was argumentative and I was sad. So this is where I turned to you Croatia. You were challenged to make me feel like me again. Did you manage? Yes, you did. By the barrel load. Being near water is calming, I hadn’t believed that til now. The good weather itself was a tonic itself and of course the change of scenery. Travelling alone at least in person was a daunting thought but it is empowering it truly is. Yes perhaps you have no one to talk about the day that’s passed over dinner but you are accountable to yourself and only you. You set the agenda, and you make sure you get to the ferry on time or not if you read about my afternoon in Supertar, you have to make sure you’ve planned properly and you are in control and most importantly well for me was to know I am ok. I can do things on my own, I can take responsibility and I can be me. So Croatia believes me when I say thank you. How do you build a memory when there is no one there to share? That was my worry as well. Yes like I said earlier maybe it would be nice to share remembrance but it’s all stored away ready to be recalled at the time. I see why Fiona loved you on her short visit and I know she was with me on this trip too. She let me do me but little reminders were never too far away. Sometimes time lets you regain lost perspective, and realise what you want but sometimes it’s more than that it’s finding out what you need. I needed to know I could do this, needed to know I was ok and needed to experience somewhere new. So Croatia from the bottom of my heart thank you.
Andrew, I believe u r a very powerful writer. This last blog has me misty eyed…why? U hit my raw nerves cept for GOT reference😉
I do hope yoit batteries r charged ready for the next chapter.
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